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How To Tell When “The Thing” Is On

“The Thing” is a devilish tactic implored by EA Sports game developers to outright prevent you from winning a game.

  • Open net shots bounce off the post
  • Open shots fly into the stands
  • Shots against you trickle in… from center ice
  • Puck physics suddenly disappear and reappear after you lose control of the puck
  • Tie Domi scores a hat trick against you
  • Player you control takes a great shot from the point, the wrong way
  • You cannot accept a pass
  • Computer controlled players on your team commit penalties

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EA is bringing SexyBack - YEAH!

Well history has officially repeated itself; Electronic Arts (EA) has made a quality hockey game. Since the realistic stats and, of course, blood in NHL 93 on the Sega Genesis the hockey community has been waiting for some innovation in video hockey. Normally, EA Sports games were my venerable pick for hockey games, until 2K Sports came on the scene. The past couple of years, be it graphics, price, and game play, 2K sports has bested EA. That was until NHL 07.

EA Sports’ new innovation is a control system that actually makes me wiggle on the couch as my virtual player dangles a puck. The left stick controls your skates, the right stick controls your hockey stick (it’s also responsible for checking on defence). Sounds simple, but it’s one of those innovations that my friends and I have talked about since PlayStation’s dual joystick controller arrived (and broken, repeatedly after being scored on in Olympic tournaments). Now you have full control of the player to pull off some Forsberg like moves. In the shootout, it’s a close in third-person view but with the new controls, you can pick corners of the net Ray Bourque style.

Passing is done with a trigger button. This is a little foreign at first but once you get use to it, it becomes second nature. One of the biggest control complaints about NHL 07 is the lack of a “turbo” button. To me, the “turbo” button has been far too over used in video hockey games since their onset. Real hockey players know you can “turn on the jets” but that is just digging deep and skating harder. To skate harder, just push the skating joystick harder in the direction you wish to skate.

Hockey games from EA Sports have always had “The Move” and “The Thing”. The Move is the one move in the NHL series that will score nearly 100% of the time. In NHL 93 The Move was moving your player back and forth across the ice to get the goalie out of position. In NHL 98, The Move was holding down the shoot button to make your player drag the puck, making the goalie do something stupid and allowing you to have an open net (also causing broken PlayStation controllers). The Move in NHL 07 has been rumored to be slapshots from just inside the blue line, but I believe The Move has nothing to do with the stick control. The Thing is a built-in system in all EA hockey games that seems to kick on when you are destroying an opponent player or at a random time. The Thing is responsible for you hitting 17 posts and the goalie making far too unrealistic saves. You cannot score when The Thing is on.

I’m 50-17-1 in my first season (5 days of play). Chokeytown is 0-2 against me with only one goal for and 13 goals against.

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